

Friday, March 6, 2009
Inside Entrepreneurship
Should you care if your employees love you?
As human beings, we want to be loved. But what happens when your desire to be loved interferes with your ability to lead?
People who gravitate toward leadership tend to be charismatic. They work hard to keep their audiences captivated and enjoy adoration. This is all fine, until their desire to be liked, or loved, clouds their judgment. Here are some examples of how this can play out:
They are subordinates, not colleagues. In their quest to be liked, leaders drop their guards and become more informal with their employees. An example of this is when a leader joins his staff at Happy Hour. There is nothing wrong with sharing a beer with the team. However, things can quickly get out of hand when one beer leads to a six-pack. Before you know it, managers are sharing drinking stories from their college days.
If you are to lead, your followers must have a high regard for you. Sure, they may look up to you all evening, but will they still respect you in the morning?
Communicating versus commiserating
It is lonely at the top. There are few people whom you can confide in regarding your hopes and fears. It can happen to the best of leaders — eventually they stop communicating and start commiserating with their executive team and sometimes with staff.
As the economy worsens, your team is looking for a leader, someone who they are confident will be able to steer their ship through choppy waters. The last thing they need to hear is a leader expressing doubt. If you need a sounding board, consider hiring an executive coach or joining an association. Then be sure you return to the business of communicating the information employees need to hear, so when you turn around, you actually have people following you.
Are you doing too much for your employees?
Are you constantly picking up the slack for members of your team who are not cutting it? When doing so, do you take the time to explain how they can improve their performance? Or do you simply decide it is easier to do things yourself to avoid more conflict?
Conflict fuels improved performance and innovation. It can also strengthen relationships when both parties have their say. Think about your own relationships — do you have more respect for those who are willing to call you on your actions or for those that avoid conflict?
It is nice to be loved, but as a leader, it is better to be respected.
Roberta Chinsky Matuson is president of Human Resource Solutions (www.yourhrexperts.com), which helps companies align their people assets with their business goals.
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